Journey to The Beginning

What an ordeal. I came for the tail end of something significant. Someone died and something ended. The issue is how do we begin again.

I look at Robin, her new life had focus, and now she must re focus. But putting myself” inside her skin" if you will.” I don't want to begin again; I made my choice with Andrew and me at home." Why, how?  ..Michael’s worst horror is reality. "This is the worst possible emergency" he said when he called me 12:30am mountain time. "Andrew is dead."

I promise you if I wrote the script for life on earth there would be no death. There unfortunately in my world would be greater sorrow because we humans would have our "cake", all its personal particulars, and "eat it too". Without death everyone’s dream of being worshipped, idolized, simply left alone, revenge, dominance, on and on would .., and it would never end.

Andrew came to his end in the hospital. God spoke with Andrew and he and Jesus were there for all your goodbyes. He wanted to stay with you... and God challenged him. He showed Andrew that the "wages of sin is death" and "Andy your wages have brought you to the end". Andy tried to talk Him out of it " please one more chance, I want to make it up to Mom and Dad, please I’ll be good" Jesus said to Andrew " Andrew you are looking right at Me, this is good so listen to Me" ,"I cannot violate my own Truth ...there is no way you can go back. Your day is today, now, and it is final."

Andrew then began to cry and weep for the life {as sweet and charming as he was}, the life, he simply threw away. He cried some more and said to Jesus looking into His eyes." Trusting his listener and being quieted. "Will you be my Daddy will you give me a new beginning."
Jesus showing the depth of His smile said "So glad you asked, yes Andrew you were mine before the creation of the world and you yourself have called on Me before which is why you have not ignored Me now. "Well done good and faithful servant"

Andrew now weeping again experiencing a humility he never knew he had said" what have I done or been for you to say well done" and Jesus said "you gave love and Love is from Me. All who know you know you Loved Me and that's how you gave Love to them. Andrew interjected " What about my sins and the wages of my life", what a waste " And Jesus said "Godly sorrow  leads to repentance and repentance is My gift to you, because you loved Me, and this is Love is what you have for Mom and Dad and brother and sister, aunts uncles and friends." Andrew interrupted what about the drugs, the addiction, the lies, the stealing, cheating my parents and...

Jesus interrupting then said" it’s over Andrew.  Your goodbye to Mom, Dad, brother, sister, friends.. hope for a good life, is very sad especially for you. Looking deep into Andrew’s discouraged eyes, Jesus continued" goodbye also includes goodbye to addiction and the need to steal, cheat, lie, and get high to avoid all the damage that is "the wages of sin"

Andrew had a moment now. Suddenly silenced he noticed something in his being. Still living in a body full of heroin he had no desire for its taste, or for his former employer the world, the flesh and the devil.  Andrew then said "I just want you." I like it here with you."


Suddenly and without any kind of notice Andrew heard his mother’s voice “that’s Mom Jesus that's Mom" Jesus then said “listen son listen to the passion of your mother’s love " “Andrew I love you so", Robin said. Feeling his Moms embrace realizing for one final moment he was still living in a human body, he saw his Mom and then Dad and Aunt Marianne, Ron, even the doctor all those involved with his human body while he was with Jesus . Though only Mom was in the room that moment he saw them all then he saw his entire life in a matter of seconds.

"Go to the Light Andrew. Go to the Light. Jesus is the Light go to Jesus Andrew we love you go to Jesus He is the Light. Go now."Go we love you so now go...."

Now suddenly and forever gone from his body Andrew had another question for Jesus. "How do they begin again, how can they have what I have Lord? Tell me how? "

"They all know you are gone Jesus said. After the memorial service they will have said shalom. They will then begin to face the worst of human suffering the loss of a child. You Andrew are that child and you are with Me, this is their beginning. Because they know you are with Me and because they know you are safe they can begin again. Soon they will let My Peace fill them with happiness for you and a hope for themselves.”

“Can you do for them what you did for me? I mean do they have to die and go to heaven to have this?”  "No Andrew they do not, because you have come to Me they can have Me as you do. Its not that you can do this for them, but your passing leaves a hole in their heart which only I can fill."  Your death is their hole and now I can fill what I have wanted for them for a very long time."

"The meek will He guide in judgment and the meek will He teach His way" Psalm 25:9
"Blessed are the meek for they shall inherit the earth" Matthew 5:5

Love, Dennis